Ep. 50 - Resentment Is A Data Point

I want to talk about something a little vulnerable today. Something I don't hear many people in this industry say out loud even though I know so many of us have felt it.

Resentment.

Not resentment toward your clients or even your team necessarily. Resentment toward your own business. And if that word just made something in your chest feel a little tight... this one is for you.

Does This Sound Familiar?

You watch your esthetician grab her bag, clock out, and head home to her family. Her day is done. And you're still there. You've got two more clients, a supply order to place, a vendor email you've been dreading, and payroll coming up in a few days. You'll be there until eight, maybe nine. You'll go home exhausted, eat whatever is fast, and fall asleep scrolling your phone.

And then you'll get up and do it all over again.

The part that really stings is the thought that you took all the risk. You built this thing. And somehow she gets to go home and you don't. She gets to enjoy her family and you don't. And in some cases... she's making more than you are.

If you've felt that, I want you to know... you are not broken. And you are not a bad boss.

Resentment Is Data, Not a Character Flaw

This is the most important thing I want you to hear today. Feeling resentful does not mean something is wrong with you. It means something is wrong with the structure of your business. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's flagging that you are not getting a return on the investment you made when you hired someone.

That's a business problem. A finance problem. And it is completely solvable.

What's not helpful is pushing the feeling down and just grinding harder. I did that. I told myself I should be grateful my spa was growing and I just kept going. And it didn't go away. It built up until it turned into dreading going to work, anxiety, snapping at people I love, and seriously wondering if I should just close my doors and go back to being solo.

I talk to spa owners all the time who are one bad week away from walking away from something beautiful they built. And almost every single time when we dig into it... it comes back to the same thing. They are not paying themselves what they deserve. Or they're not holding themselves to the boundaries they said they would keep.

The Story Underneath the Feeling

When you feel resentful watching your team go home while you stay late, there's usually one of two things going on.

The first is a math problem. You are working more than anyone and being paid less than everyone. Your business is not structured to compensate you fairly for your contribution.

The second is an expectation problem. You hired a team thinking it would give you freedom and instead it gave you more responsibility with no financial reward. That's not because your expectation was wrong. It's because nobody taught you how to build the profit structure that makes having a team actually feel worth it.

Both of these are fixable. But you have to be willing to name the problem clearly before you can solve it.

Start With Your Numbers

I'm not going to tell you to journal about it or do breathing exercises. I mean, those things have their place. But resentment in this industry is almost always a financial issue at its root. And the way you start pulling at that root is by getting really clear on what your business needs to produce in order for you to get paid what you deserve.

Every dollar you put into your team should be returning at least four dollars back to your business. If that math isn't working right now, that's where we start.

Once spa owners start getting paid fairly, everything shifts. The dread goes away. The resentment fades. You start feeling like you actually built something that works for you instead of something you're just surviving.

That feeling is still available to you. But it starts with looking at your numbers honestly and being willing to do something about what you find.

Ready to finally figure out where the money is going and start paying yourself what you're worth?

Fill out this intake form to book a discovery call with me. I work with spa owners who are done running their business on empty and are ready to build something that actually pays them back. You deserve to go home too.